ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
one two three fourrrrnication!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
