Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
