Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
