anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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