It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Sext me about skeletons
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
