dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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