You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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