NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
