i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize