I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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