Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
