bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
