I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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