I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
