You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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