I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So many bounce houses so little time
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You're a waste of cheezeits
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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