He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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