Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
