i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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