Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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