I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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