It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
