she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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