Who wears a wallet chain?!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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