do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
40s are totally the cure
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
