She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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