the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just cropdusted the office
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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