fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize