Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
