I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
