I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
