ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
