Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
