At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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