all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
