Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
