How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
