Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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