Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
