I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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