Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
