She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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