Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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