I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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