Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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