Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You left your underwear on the fireplace
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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