every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
