I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
