It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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