Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
