I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
