I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
