I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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