just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
