do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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