The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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